I only married her because I thought she would die soon!

Newlywed man seeks to divorce duplicitous wife.

Best part: The groom admits he “slapped the fire” out of Vega during a fight when they split – and that he chomped on her elbow during an earlier blowup in Yonkers.

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13 Responses to I only married her because I thought she would die soon!

  1. Stephane says:

    Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! Please come again, I love your.comments!

  2. Pearatty says:

    I’m confused about the difference between this blog and your other blog. I thought this one was going to be more for long literary essays and the other one was going to be more for fluff, but there’s no clear distinction that I can see.

    Maybe you should combine, and discontinue Clareified?

  3. Pearatty says:

    Also, you know we all know who you are, right? I mean, with the schizophrenic commenting?

  4. Dawn Summers says:

    Why do you hate me and want to kill me?

  5. Stephane says:

    It’s a process, pearatty. We’re tweaking. Thanks for your comment, though!

    Dawn, stop being paranoid.

  6. F-Train says:

    You’re a process. No you are!

  7. Alceste says:

    Or move this blog over to clareified.com for the URL — why lose page rank/referrals/advertisers if you don’t have to

  8. Drizztdj says:

    I think baking soda is better used on grease fire, slapping it will just cause it to get bigger.

  9. Tae says:

    So whenever I’m going to your new blog I start by typing “d-a-w-….” into the address bar before I say “oh crap” and start again. Even funnier, I totally laugh out loud every time.

  10. Chilly says:

    There sure is a lot going on up there.

  11. hahaha Tae funny. Chilly? Weird.

  12. Chilly says:

    Seeing as how I am a friend and concerned for you and the fact that you will be in the same zip code as my children soon…, any chance the two of you will get an examination of the head shrinking type?

    Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct or split identities have power over the person’s behavior.

    *Check. See one Dawn and one Stephane.*

    With dissociative identity disorder, there are also highly distinct memory variations, which fluctuate with the person’s split personality.

    *yep, check*

    Along with the dissociation and multiple or split personalities, people with dissociative disorders may experience any of the following symptoms:

    -Depression
    * check
    – Mood swings
    * check and double check
    – Sleep disorders (insomnia, night terrors, and sleep walking)
    * check
    – Anxiety, panic attacks, and phobias (flashbacks, reactions to stimuli or “triggers”) * check
    – Alcohol and drug abuse
    * check, recheck and triple check
    – Compulsions and rituals
    *check, broke the keys to write check
    – Eating disorders
    *do nut allergies count?

    Some people with dissociative disorders have a tendency toward self-persecution, self-sabotage, and even violence.
    *check and mate*

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