Four Aside - I love hockey except for the agonizing moments when no fight is happening

New York is not really a hockey town. The Rangers never make the back page and they don’t really get more than a passing mention on the nightly sportscasts.

Maybe it’s because the New York Rangers aren’t very good. The Mets don’t really make the back pages either and I can hardly claim New York doesn’t care about baseball.

I’ve recently been reading my rules of hockey book, so lately I’ve found myself in the midst of random conversations about the sport.

The other morning, a huge guy taps me on the shoulder. I take out my earbud and in the thickest Russian accent you ever did hear, he says:
“You cannot learn hockey from book! Hockey is on ice and skate! No book!”
“Oh, I don’t play. I just watch on TV.”
“You don’t need book for TV hockey then. You watch the TV.”
I laughed.
“What you want know? I tell you.”
I figure I’ll make Drizz happy.
“What’s icing?”
“Well, it’s when one guy, whooosh to the puck and it goes all the way on other side and other guy, no goalie, gets it. Then is icing. Or game is stupid without this rule. Just whoosh whoosh with puck.”
Uh huh.
Then he told me some other stuff about the lines dividing the ice, which I’m sure was right when he said it, but am equally sure I’d get it wrong in the retelling of it. They’re red and blue though… I assume the blue lines are best. You know, like for states. Oh, then it turned out he played in some Russian league and thinks the NHL is stupid. Then he got off the bus.

My Mets fan coworker, who Vinny says looks like a hippie, told me that he went to college with Chris Drury, but gave up hockey after the strike.

“But baseball went on strike too…”

“Well…you know, maybe it’s because all the hockey players have these crazy European names that I can’t pronounce.”

“Not the Rangers! They’re easy! Boyle, Callahan, Stepan… I guess Anisimov and Lundqvist are kinda hard, but you get used to it!”

He laughed. “I’m too ethnocentric.”

“Right. Cause all the baseball players are Joneses and Smiths!”

“No, I guess you’re right. I don’t know why I’m not into hockey anymore… I like Sidney Crosby though.”

I made a vomiting sound.

“What the hell kind of ethnocentric are you? He’s Canadian! Worse he’s THE Canadian who stole our gold medal last year! I hate that guy and want him deported!”

“You can’t hate a kid for winning a gold medal for his country like that.”

O_o I can and I will. #truestory

When I went to Madison Square Garden for game four of the Stephane Cup, I was surrounded by Sabres fans, but the boyfriend of one of the girls wearing Vanek jerseys (another black woman if you can believe that!) kept telling me that this is the most excited about hockey that he’s been in 20 years.
“We’re back!”
Well…sorta…this is my first time here.
And this book is 11 years old.
Let’s go Rangers!

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23 Responses to Four Aside

  1. VinNay says:

    Callahan is not playing.

  2. Drizztdj says:

    Just like HS football/college football/NFL, there are different rules in HS hockey/college hockey/NHL.

    I suggest re-watching Slap Shot for this reason.

    Several times.

    • Alfian says:

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    • Nikola says:

      real cons, Agree that anti-Americanism is a big driver for liesftt ‘policy’ ideas.anon2, What do you suppose NATO’s involvement with Pakistan would be in helping to ‘suppress’ the cross-border insurgency? Dropping pamphlets? Anyway, I tend to agree with Dion about the need for NATO to ‘work with’ Pakistan. The point is that Dion, was being inconsistent with his prior rhetoric on withdrawing troops from combat.

    • Stephannie says:

      Hey Pink Panthess – go Finland! I happen to love innnatrtioeal hockey as well. ;)I’m happy to hear the yellow poppies are a hit. They grow all over our garden, and we’ve never actually planted any. I love that when that happens!

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  3. Mark says:

    Less time talking about player names and unmentionable all-star punks that steal the gold from us and more about what hockey means to you. Your roots in the game. The ties to your soul. The utterly visceral rush that you get when there is a killer check or a knock-down drag-out brawl. Sorry, I kind of live for this sport…tend to get a bit worked up about it.

  4. Gerard says:

    Crosby is a pile of douche-and not just because he’s from Canada. Why does the NHL want to build their league around a guy who has the personality of a Stanley Tucci? It’s inexplicable to this non-hockey fan.

    Oh yeah, and this.

    • Dawn Summers says:

      Yah. Cause that was the most memorable hockey event America had in 1980… #islandersfail

      • Limuel says:

        Wow, I think you will be a great OB. It seems like you have a real love for children, fameilis, and people in general. Sad to say that those qualities are rare traits in todays world. I believe not just anyone should be in just any job because you could be in a job that you hate and end up making everyone who comes in contact with you at work miserable. You have the joy and care to be great at your job and effect those you will be working around not only by your knowledge , but by your love for what you do.

      • Muhamed says:

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      • Fidelito says:

        Yup. I guess I did just sneak it in, Jan! Allow me to explain: I snieppd a little slot at the bottom of the basket and just threaded the “hemma” (thanks ikea!) through the top. Ea-sy. I may attached some ribbon trimmings to the bottom now, as it’s going to one of my nieces. Next time, a proper d.i.y.!

      • Update: I tried the vicks plug-in thing and good old baby vicks rubbed in the chest/back/neck (couldn’t find a triaminic patch). I also took the advice of a coworker and raised the head of Maddie’s crib about an inch and a half. She slept like a dream. Whether it was the remedies or the fact that she was exhausted from the previous bad night, I’m not sure. Nonetheless, thanks everyone for the help.

    • Jennifer says:

      Stephanie Compton – Jason, we love our wedding phtoos. You captured the magic of the day, down to the smallest detail, and the biggest dramatic cloud. And you made the photo session so enjoyable, we didn’t want it to end (but we knew we had 175 hungry guests waiting for us). Thank you for freeze framing these memories it’s been a month since our wedding day, and I still feel butterflies when I look at them. ~Mrs.Stephanie Compton

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